Childhood in Jewish neighborhood has ups and downs
Growing up in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood was a life surrounded by pressure, a success-oriented mentality, money, and an environment most of the United States would consider unrealistic. It had its ups and downs.
When I was born in midsummer of 1978, my family lived in Wilmette, Ill. At age seven, we moved to Highland Park, Ill. Both are suburbs of Chicago.
Wilmette had more of a diverse background than Highland Park, with some Jews and mainly Christians. There still was Anti-Semitism in Wilmette.
As my mother waited outside to pick me up from a class I was taking at age six, she heard someone complain about school being canceled for a Jewish holiday. My family had planned to move anyway, but that was when my parents knew we were going to try and live in an area with mostly Jewish people.
From day one of second grade I can remember the academic standards being extremely high and impossible to live up to. If you had a little trouble with your work or did not fit the model image, it meant being placed in remedial courses.
There are two special education classes that stand out in my mind to this very day. They are a combined studies course with language arts and social studies in sixth grade and a social skills class in ninth grade.
The combined studies course consisted of all those seen as incompetent, did not fit social norms by being picked on, were unpopular, and earned bad grades. We were graded on behavior like little kids.
Our teacher even made up a system where she signed a piece of paper if we behaved well that day. If we had enough days where we were good, there would be a reward at the end of the month.
Social skills in ninth grade was not much different. It did only focus on behavioral issues. Those who did not live up to the expectations and norms of living in a Jewish neighborhood would be placed in courses like this.
It did seem there was a different standard for males than females. Males in these courses were unpopular and treated like dirt for not living up to the expectations the hometown environment put on them. Females were still able to salvage dignity and respect.
The parents set the tone and expectations through their success. They had careers such as lawyers, doctors, and were successful in business. In the process they made a lot of money and lived in nice houses.
It was a town of snobbery. Everyone took nice vacations, went to expensive overnight camps, had all the best video game systems, and nice clothes. It was competitive. People rubbed it in and those who did not have these things were shunned and left out.
I am not saying being Jewish means having a great deal of money. There are towns dominated by Jews who are considered rich, so society has unfairly made the connection that being Jewish means being wealthy.
Personally I never followed the guidelines set for me. I rebelled by talking back and I was genuine by being myself. In social skills I had enough and I talked back, disrupted class, and just refused to do anything.
At the age of 14, the world was changing around me. Bill Clinton was elected President of the United States, Dallas beat Buffalo in the Super Bowl, Michigan lost to North Carolina thanks to Chris Webber trying to call a time out he did not have, the Bulls won their third consecutive NBA Finals, and Toronto beat Atlanta in the World Series.
So much was happening, but I had to look from within and deep down at my own life. I tried for years to live up to the expectations of my environment, but it finally hit me I was attempting to do the impossible.
I went away to boarding school. To put it extremely mildly there were problems. It was an Episcopalian school, which was a huge culture shock.
Where I came from everyone had Bar and Bat-Mitzvahs. No one celebrated Christmas through songs, trees, and all of the other traditions. Sure I knew most of the world was Christian, but I did not feel burdened by it just through a few television commercials.
What made it worse was how anti-Semitic the school was. Many gave me a hard time about my religious background and I even had a swastika put on the door of my room once.
For college I went to school in the “Bible Belt”. Things were not nearly as bad, but my experience was similar. I took many stances and was penalized for them by the student life office.
Today I am working in one of the most racist towns in the country. I am a newspaper reporter and have to face it first hand when I deal with the school board and city council.
It has been 10 and a half years since I lived in Highland Park, Ill., but I have not gotten used to the racism. The environment of so many Jewish people have me unrealistic expectations for when I took on the world.
Through all of my problems growing up, I would not trade the values my town instilled in me, which I carry wherever I go. I learned not to tolerate racism.
During seventh grade, I remember a kid calling someone a “dirty Jew”. Within 10 minutes the principal had the student in his office making sure he understood his comment was inappropriate. I wish everyone went that far to fight prejudice.
As I cover city council and I see the abuse the mayor takes because he is black, in a small way I can identify with him. I try to do my best to break the racial barriers in the community just by dealing with as many minorities as I can and giving them fair coverage in my articles. Every little bit helps.
A council member said at one meeting people were trying to take down the city’s first black mayor. He said, “It’s not black and white. It’s good and evil.”
I feel his words and I understand what the black people are going through where I live. I understand the problems because of the values I was brought up with in that predominantly Jewish neighborhood in Highland Park, Ill. There is no doubt it was a rocky road for me.
The nation is changing for the better, but the problems are nowhere near over. It is my dream we bring the best of the past to the present and make positive changes all in one to build for a progressive future.
